Emotional Intelligence

More than any other skill, emotional intelligence will drive you to a life of fulfillment, success and high-performance in your personal and professional endeavors. Understanding how and why your emotions influence your behavior helps you make more intelligent decisions, enabling you to identify opportunities and live a successful life on your terms.

So the first question is, what is emotional intelligence?

“The ability to recognize, understand and manage our own emotions; to recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.”

The next question is, how do we apply it and use it to our advantage? By describing the qualities that represent emotional intelligence, we can closer understand how we can apply it and use it to our advantage. Take decision-making for example.

Every one of us has different reasons for why we do, what we do, though often, it’s the unifying themes of purpose that leave a lasting impact. In order to know our purpose, we need to have a high self-awareness — a cornerstone piece of emotional intelligence.

What makes you emotionally intelligent? I’ve found in most people that I coach, it’s often the parts of their process — the benevolent passion or cause that stokes the fire inside of them — which enables them to make a difference in the world.

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It’s watching that process at work — observing an individual totally immerse their heart, mind and soul into doing work that is special and life changing. It’s purpose-driven, lofty yet also practical and it aims to serve others. If you’re only “in it” for yourself, others will spot that and be less likely to help you. Plus, you’ll be lacking empathy.

We need to adapt, learn and grow on our ascent up the mountain. Here are four qualities that I have distilled from my research, business experience, as well as observations in coaching and personal relationships that make an emotionally intelligent person.

1. They Have a “Why.”

A strong spirit transcends rules. — Prince

They have a purpose that transcends humanity and speaks to a desire to make a difference that may take a lifetime worth of work. They’re OK with the time commitment and they possess the requisite patience. They know what matters most to them and they’re diligently working, at some point of each day, on how to get it. Everything circles back to their “Why.”

Ask yourself these questions: why does the work you’re doing matter? Who is it serving? Sara Blakely is a woman who has always asked these questions and it’s benefited her in turning her company Spanx into a billion-dollar enterprise.

2. They’re Creative, Imaginative Thinkers of Bold Ideas

If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be” — Maya Angelou

Emotionally intelligent people are analytical, reflective thinkers that are always ruminating on big ideas. Every time an idea pops into their head, they think about how they can use it to make the world a better place. They influence these ideas with emotion and a critical mind to make sure they are worthy of supporting their “Why.”

Through all of their various interactions, they identify the tools, technology, people and resources that will help you on your mission. Each day is a greater challenge for you to think more creatively and to inspire yourself to be even more creative than the day before.

3. They Have Very High Self-Awareness

Highly self-aware people possess time-tested values that enable them to make sense of what they’re doing. They have self-control and discipline over the performance and management of their day, and how the results of their work impact the people and world around them. They’re confident in their abilities because they know themselves in an intimate, profound way.

They work on developing others and living with empathy and love first. They’re authentic and original not because they try too hard, but because they’re excellent at simply being themselves.

4. They Desire to Persevere and Make The Most of Any Situation

“Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.” — Napoleon Hill

As with anything in life worth pursuing or achieving, you have to want it and be willing to adapt your mindset and behavior to get it. A great quote is this one from Eric Thomas, whose inspiring message has impacted millions of people:

“When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you’ll be successful.” — Eric Thomas

You have to want it! “It” can be the best intentions and results for the person you care about, the goal you’re looking to reach or the challenging time that you’re fighting through. You have to persevere and keep going each day. This comes when you set goals, live life with purpose and are willing to overcome adversity through your thoughts, words and actions.

Remember

You can live your life with purpose.

You can use your creative imagination to think of bold ideas

You can know yourself in a deep way.

You can live with passion and desire and persevere through adversity.

All of these qualities of the world’s most emotionally intelligent leaders are yours for the taking.

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