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I’ve listed four values that have helped me immensely as I’ve grown as a businessman and family man. You can build your success around these values, too.

When the going is good in life, we tend to have this feeling of invincibility. Nothing can stop me! Then, reality hits: that feeling never lasts forever. Tough times strike. Hardship comes into our lives. We begin to struggle and suddenly, it’s a lot more difficult to move forward.

This is why any short or long-term strategy for life should revolve around a set of core values that help position us for any external conditions. Tough times will come and go. Tough people last. Tough people — ones who can weather any storm — always have a strong core value structure.

Values give definition, clarity, and foundation that provide us with a game plan — a strategy for how to succeed, find happiness, and navigate life’s peaks and valleys. We tend to handle the good times in life, just fine. When we’re in our “zone,” we keep accumulating the good things — sort of like a real-world version of Nintendo Mario on his “magic star” stroll.

The bad times come and sometimes linger. A death in the family. The loss of a job. Failure in a personal endeavor. Far too often, we run away from these circumstances — mentally and emotionally. We bury our heads in our smartphones, pray for metaphorical rain, and hope that while we’re getting soaked, eventually, the storm will blow over. When we’re “ready.”

Let me dispense some wisdom I hope will help you through your tough time:

Embrace the tough times. When you do, you place value on how you can learn from suffering and come back stronger. You’ll master one of life’s most valuable skills. As you go along, you may find that in order to improve, you need not always try harder, but rather to think and work smarter.

I’ve listed four values that have helped me immensely as I’ve grown as a businessman and family man. You can build your success around these values, too.

FAITH

“If you don’t fall, how are you going to know what getting up is like?” — Steph Curry

We’re best positioned to place faith both in ourselves and in something greater than ourselves. For me, that “something” is God. We cannot control every outcome in life. The more we try, the more we come to this realization. Eventually, we have to give-in to trusting that things will work out.

The story of how Stephen Curry became one of the best players in the NBA is at its heart, a story of faith. Curry was lightly recruited out of high school. Small Davidson College, local to his Charlotte upbringing, decided to take a chance on him. Boy, did it pay off. Curry became a superstar in college and attracted the attention of NBA executives.

But still, many doubted. They continued to doubt even after Curry became the seventh overall pick in the 2009 NBA Draft. Too short. Not strong enough. Curry turned to his faith to outlast the critics and surpass anyone’s expectations. Through all his personal and professional trials, Curry’s faith has made him one of the best players in the world. And one the strongest, most confident people.

PERSEVERANCE

“In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins- not through strength but by perseverance.” ~ H. Jackson Brown

No challenge is too tough for the person who is resolute in mind and spirit. A great example of this is a young woman I recently had the pleasure of meeting who was involved in a motorcycle accident. She could have kept blaming everyone and everything for why she is now a paraplegic. And in the beginning, she was angry. Frustrated. Bitter. Resentful.

But then, she dug in. She realized she had a whole life ahead of her. Now? She’s on her way to continuing her pursuit of becoming a medical doctor. She’s found light, not darkness, by embracing adversity. We all have a choice in life. We can give up or keep going. We always have a choice. No one will ever take that way from us. Keep going.

INTEGRITY

Integrity is all about staying true to yourself. In the aftermath of a major life difficulty, whether it be a car accident or loss of a job, the worst thing you can do is start blaming yourself. It’s best to turn inward to your core values — to the inner DNA of the true self that’s guided you through good and bad times before.

Adversity challenges our emotional intelligence. It makes us start doubting, fretting, and thinking we’re not capable. It’s precisely in these moments that values like integrity serve as our backbone, reminding us that we’re bold, strong, and full of character. When you live a life of integrity, you find happiness in all of life’s moments.

Emotionally intelligent leaders honor their word and lead with integrity in all they do.

DISCIPLINE (SELF-CONTROL)

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” — Thomas Edison

Know what you can control and understand what is best left to faith. Discipline is the decision-making mechanism that guides us throughout our lives. Willpower is what comes from a life well-lived. An earned way of thinking, doing, and being by repetition and adherence to a belief system that has universally accepted morals and values.

When Thomas Edison was confronted with failure in his inventions, he didn’t give up. There’s a reason why we know his name today and appreciate him as one of the world’s great inventors. He kept going. He had the discipline, faith, and perseverance necessary to keep striving toward something new. The same can be said for Elon Musk. He has the core discipline to believe in what he’s doing and doesn’t let setbacks or disappointments discourage him.

Always prepare and take the time to confront any adversity with a winner’s mindset. If you’re operating with positive conviction and belief in yourself, you’re more than halfway there. In fact, you’re far ahead of the pack.

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Values are the foundation you should build your life on. They will bring you happiness as life changes around you. Follow these four values and you will live the life you want.

Join my newsletter for emotional intelligence and productivity content! and Check out my Amazon bestseller, Emotional Intelligence for the Modern Leader.

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Leaders and organizations are looking for the top qualities that make up a successful workforce. As study after study continues to show us- many employees, in particular millennials and Gen Z, highly value wellbeing in the workplace. Great cultures begin with people. The best employees are engaged, motivated and purpose-driven.

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What I've learned in my work with organizations is that individual job performance is clearly impacted by the culture the organization cultivates, and certainly by each leader's direct interactions with their teams. When you have a manager who communicates effectively, works to build relationships and lifts people up, you're empowering your people to focus on being the best they can be in their roles. This is preceded by the organization fostering an environment with a positive culture and energizing people will wellbeing programs, active engagement in strategizing ideas and asking them what they need.

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To increase engagement, give your people the latitude to be themselves. Provide training to managers that help them to see the big picture- not just driving the next task to completion. Have regular 1:1's, use team meetings to get to know people, allow them time for career growth. And remember this as a leader-- EVERY touchpoint is an opportunity to craft a unique relationship and help someone to grow.

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What have you found works as a leader to increase engagement among your employees?

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Leadership is a contact sport. Initiating conversations, creating an emotionally intelligent culture and connecting with your people is what leads to employee wellbeing. This leads to people wanting to be a part of what you're building.

Love what you do. Live for what you do. Pour your heart, soul and all you’ve got into it. But for goodness sake, celebrate yourself when it’s merited and deserved. These two steps are the foundation for every great achievement. You must love the process of what you’re doing. It’s this secret of motivation that leads to big steps forward.

As a two-time author and keynote speaker, I know that just having goals isn’t enough. Goals must be backed by habits, which are fueled by passion, motivation and an insatiable desire to get your hands dirty in the process. My book, Emotional Intelligence for the Modern Leader, was an exercise in motivation for delivering a product I wanted to share with the world.

The journey defined my experience and enabled me to keep going.

Many leaders are so immersed on their journey toward greatness that they’re losing the small battles along the way. Day-by-day and inch-by-inch, they’re losing encouragement and hope. The road to success for most people is a long one. Forget what our media and instant-gratification society try shovel-feeding you — you won’t become a star overnight.

Even the leaders that we admire so much — superstars like Elon Musk, Sara Blakely, Indra Nooyi or Sundar Pichai— all of these successful executives needed to take the long, winding road to success. And all of them needed to celebrate every win along the way.

Which is why it’s so important to find something that you love OR to at least fall in love with the process of what you’re doing. This love and motivation will serve as the brick and mortar foundation for empowering your mind, body and soul to create great things everyday, and also to find consistency and repetition.

Pride and Joy

Find something that you love so much, it will sustain you even when you can barely muster the strength to pull yourself out of bed and slink down on the couch to watch Netflix. But by all means, celebrate what you’ve accomplished. Don’t get self-conscious. Don’t get into the whole false-humility thing. Celebrate yourself when you’ve done something great.

Because you should always be proud of your biggest and boldest accomplishments. You should always celebrate your achievements.

The words above are as much for my coaching clients and readers as they are for me. I have to tie emotion in a positive way to the process of everything I do. If I don’t I fail. If I do, then I achieve life-changing success. We all need this reminder for a variety of reasons:

• We need to know the purpose behind what we’re doing
• We need to remind ourselves of how much we love what we do
• That love needs to come out in our work for maximum impact

So many people tell me that they’re unwilling to celebrate because they’re so focused on the process. Well, before long, if that’s the case, you may go a whole lifetime without taking a bow and sharing a good laugh and smile at all the wonderful things that you’ve done!

It took me a long time in my life to realize how important celebrating wins are, but after writing two books, I know how special it is. Even when my first book was published, I had to overcome the fear of self-promotion and putting myself out there. It’s not something that comes natural to me, and it’s the part of “success” that I like the least.

But it’s essential. If you can’t sell yourself, no one else will do it for you. If you’re unwilling to celebrate your biggest accomplishments, how will you know what the finish line really looks like? Every great venture has both a starting line and a finish line. To begin, you need to be committed. To finish, you need to be consistent.

When you finish, you should celebrate all the hard work, dedication, sweat, tears and energy you’ve spent on achieving your big dream. This is born from love, passion, motivation and totally immersing yourself in the process of something that is bigger than yourself.

Remember:

• Ask yourself what motivates you most about what you’re doing
• Take time to stop and “smell the roses” to remind yourself how important it is to love what you do
• Celebrate the wins you have and share this success with others
• Then, celebrate their wins. They’ll thank you for it and return the favor when you need it most

Learn more about my work with leaders: https://www.chrisdconnors.com/coaching

Embracing your true self.

Becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Literally being yourself- the person and career woman or man that you most want to be.

What does that look like?

For many of us, the biggest piece of the puzzle is always getting to the knowing. As we continue to search for deeper meaning, we feel the desire to make a declaration. “I am…”

We know that being in the right mindset is so powerful. We know that visualizing ourselves and speaking positive affirmations over our lives is life-changing. It completely changes our perspective and the way we see ourselves- as well as how others see us.

Gaining this clarity means knowing who we really are, why that matters, how we’re going to get where we want to be, and what we need to do about it.

It means walking through that door, embracing your true self and living the life that brings joy, peace and fulfillment to your heart and soul.

Can you walk through that door? Are you willing to do what it takes to get to that space?

Surely, it won’t be easy. Because growth never is. And that’s really what I’m talking about.

The Hard Truth of Personal Growth

“We have the choice of two identities: the external mask which seems to be real…and the hidden, inner person who seems to us to be nothing, but who can give himself eternally to the truth in whom he subsists.” — Thomas Merton

Growth is hard.

Sometimes it feels like all anyone ever looks at is the results. The outcomes. The “bottom line” value that very often is quantifiable.

They don’t see the blood, sweat, tears, anxiety, fears, battles — and inner-triumphs that change the course of our lives forever!

We know that deep-down, we’re growing. We want others to see this and recognize it. And when we perceive that others don’t seem to care, we get worried. It bothers us.

How could that be?! Can’t you see me growing over here!

And this lack of validation and affirmation can lead to self-criticism and negative self-judgment.

Let’s face it- a lot of the judgement we put on ourselves is self-imposed. Every one of us is trying to grow. But the worst possible thing we can is sabotage ourselves on our road to trying to better our lot in life!

I can tell you from my experience, this is exactly what once happened to me. I thought I was growing. I thought I was walking through that door and into the life of my dreams. The truth is, I was dwelling, at times, in the past. I was getting far too anxious about my future.

I was the ultimate critic of myself and it was to my detriment.

I was barely giving myself room to breathe on the inside. Eventually, I came up for air. I started to see things more clearly. What I learned from my struggles was to stop beating myself up. I assure you- the world is going to do enough of that for us.

Be Willing to Try Again

If you’ve ever tried to succeed at anything in life, you probably haven’t achieved your goal on the first try. Maybe you did. But I bet you didn’t on the second or third try. Nothing worth achieving comes easy. It’s a fight to get what is truly great. It’s a fight to reclaim the life we want for ourselves. To know ourselves and be the best possible person we can be.

Growth isn’t easy.

It’s a harsh reality of life, but one that we’re best equipped to embrace and manage. We all want to move forward and on to the next level of our development. We will. And we WILL sustain the gains along the way. We have to realize that walking through that door means doing so with a clear mind, focus, discipline, confidence and conviction.

Don’t look back. Stop worrying. And ditch the excuses.

There’s a whole lot of living to do. It starts with you. Embrace yourself for everything that you are and everything you want to be. If you’re not yet where you hoped you’d be, please keep focusing on doing your best every day with love and joy in your heart. That choice is always within your control.

You can walk through that door. You just have to take the first step.

Learn more about finding your best self and get great tips on living your best life: http://chrisdconnors.com

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Productivity is a three-part process that will make or break your success. This begins with thought creation, then commitment (verbal or written) and then taking action and following through. The true joy of any process is the doing part. Success comes when you improve your skills and continue forward with consistency, repetition, and a positive mindset.

In this article, I will focus specifically on the second phase of productivity: Commitment.

This is where you can make or break your day. You need a plan — this is the key to habit making and it’s what ensures your success. First, the speaking part:

We can speak positively over our lives in two ways: 1) Actually speaking the words and 2) Sending the same words from our mind into our subconscious mind via, “the voice inside our head.” Both are powerful ways to build faith. Napoleon Hill once perfectly summed up the subconscious part:

“Auto-suggestion is the agency of control through which an individual may voluntarily feed his subconscious mind on thoughts of a creative nature, or, by neglect, permit thoughts of a destructive nature to find their way into this rich garden of the mind.”

The key here is to speak positively and to do this in the morning, afternoon, and evening — all throughout the day. The most successful people practice auto-suggestion to feed their subconscious mind, in an effort to fuel their success. Verbalize the words. Write them down and make a commitment.

Then, let the voice inside your head play these back in a positive, re-affirming way. You can begin here:

Plan Your Day the Night Before

I’m glad that no one keeps a tally of the number of unsuccessful days I’ve lived. Frankly, I’m willing to bet we could all agree to that. What I can tell you is, the unsuccessful days have been the ones that I did not plan. As I have grown over the years in my career, I have dramatically reduced those unsuccessful days by following one simple step:

I have planned my day the previous night.

I recommend that you list out goals that you aim to accomplish each week. Then, highlight the tasks that you want to accomplish each day using the Time Management Quadrant below originally developed by former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower.

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You can choose to put these into time slots, depending on whether you use a daily planner or simply a task or milestone list for the day. Once you have something in writing, you’ve made an actionable commitment to getting it done.

Always allow yourself the ability to adapt and change if it’s in your best interest to do so. As the great (if not somewhat crazy) Mike Tyson once said,

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

Chances are, you won’t need to dodge monster right hooks over the course of your day, but you will encounter adversity and changes that force you to adapt and modify your plan.

Read Your Plan Out Loud

Reading your plan helps you process the information and store it in your conscious and subconscious mind. No matter how good you think your short or long-term memory is, if you don’t write or read your plan, you will forget some information. Recognizing new opportunities is a skill that comes to those who have a clear, prepared mind.

When you visualize what you want to do, you have an image in your imagination. Your imagination gives birth to the ideas, goals, and plans that you have. Suddenly, you have a vivid picture of seeing yourself successfully carry out your goals for the day. As the great Walt Disney once said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

The real question is, how committed are you to your success?

Join my newsletter for emotional intelligence and productivity content! and Check out my Amazon bestseller, Emotional Intelligence for the Modern Leader.

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